Through the Sea"Mill"

I know this title has been used before in a previous blog (through the mill"port") by Duff but its such a winner that it does it justice to be used twice.

There hasn't been much cycling of late due to my trip to Lochgilphead and Duff's manic work schedule. There was one Sunday morning cycle that turned into potential disaster after 4 miles. See pic below

This is the second time we have cycled from Dalry to Kilwinning and the second time Duff has had to lie down at the end. There was a vast improvement though as Duff made it up the hill known only as the "Kilwinning Corkscrew" (due to its steep and twisting path) without getting off. It was bellowed towards the top that his "heart was going to explode". There are videos of Duff lying down as Steve Wright Sunday love songs plays on my future handlebar radio but they have one or two expletives and shouldn't be shown in public. The tunes didn't make it the manliest of cycles but they served to strengthen the bond between us.

Anyway, onto the main event and here is Duff powering along the front at Stevenson. Who new the beach could look so nice?

We pedaled through Saltycoats avoiding the great hole and through Ardrossan onto new uncharted territory. Duff commented below that if people only saw this picture they may actually think Ardrossan was pleasant? The main reason for the picture below was to mark the fact we believed the cycle track had stopped and we were now prepared to follow the Ayrshire Coastal Path. Not a cycle track but it seemed a worthwhile gamble as we had time to cycle.

It's fair to say it wasn't. As before long this is what we were pedaling through. 

Then this! If you look closely the path is the flatter rubble this side of the black pipe and goes round to the right. Not great freewheeling terrain. So we chose to push to the road

Before long the low had turned into a high and what a little beauty of a cycle path this was. Following the coast all the way to Seamill.

Below is Seamill. As proven by the B and B sign.

If you can't read it here is proof. 

On the way back Duff proclaimed this the gayest moment of his life as we sat on the picnic table down the front and enjoyed my excellent tray bake containing biscuits, chocolate, rolos, mars bars and twix's. An excellent pick me up for the body and spirit.

There was still time for Duff to cycle into a bit of wood and get some wire wrapped round his wheel which he is fixing below.

All in 20 miles together and the plan to cycle to Glasgow this Sunday. Will anything ever stop the cycling juggernaut that is Duff and Ewan's Uberchallenge? Tune in next time to find out

Pride Comes Before A Fall

So the Uberblog crops up two days on the trot. Today, after bunking off work early and officially. I headed to chez miller where Duff was tucking into the cyclists lunch of a tin of meatballs and a whole baguette of garlic bread. Classic sportsman food. I have seen him eat worse. In fact I've eaten worse when I had tinned haggis sandwiches in 2008 (I was new to living alone) just to make that one worse the haggis claimed to be 39 per cent lamb lung. Unbelievably I went back for seconds. However, I'm digressing. Back to the Uberblog.

We set off today with a new addition - Rusty "faster further" Hamilton as he will undoubtedly be dubbed. See below:

Happy days at Castle Semple. 

This was about 4 miles in and we'd been bloody tanking it at about 15 miles an hour. This is compared to myself and Duffs usual driving miss daisy pace of about 9mph. To be fair to Duff I never new he had it in him. After Saturdays 21 miler 5 asides and the previous days surprising 18 miles. We were powering along.

Further we ventured leaving tracks of fire like the docs DeLorean. 

This brought a much needed rest at Morrisons of Jtown where I popped in for some drinks and doughnuts:

On the right its a doughnut eating a doughnut. Ahaha. Doughnut cannibalism. Surely a new term for the urban dictionary. 

We did stop briefly to cool our jets at what has proudly become Scotland's worst town thanks to the recent Carbunkle Award given to Linwood. I feel Mr Carbunkle couldn't have witnessed this magnificent broken pencil style structure on this gloriously crisp winters day. It must have been built recently due to the lack of fire damage.

You may notice my stupid face. I did this to complement Duff's stupid face. Unbelievably for the first time ever in an uberchallenge pic he looked normal. Well by normal I mean "normal".

Here we are at Canal Street station or dog poo flank as this stretch should surely be known. Duff made the decision to refer to Paisley as the Bin from now on.

Apart from my vitriol strewn words over the last couple of paragraphs mainly aimed at Paisley and its suburb of Linwood. I was actually loving my day. The handlebar radio was blaring out reggae's finest. Ya erein me mon! Ya guan down Paisley ya av real irie time. That may not have made sense. I and I is not fluent in da reggae lingo.

Ah look at that nonchalant (try reading that word again in a french accent. If you cant do french just try an outrageous one) pose. I think I was thinking hmmm look at me a tall strong cyclist conquering mile after mile like o'bree and hoy before me. Whatever next Everest? hmmmm? I'm great arent I. Or possibly I just look like a ginormous bender either way I was loving life.

Unfortunately just around the corner I felt the first saddle related friction burn. This will surely only get worse.

Ah the cycle was so great we cycled into the dark. Please note the excellent illumination of the jerkin.

As we powered home at rapid speeds racking up an impressive 28.5 miles in the process. I arrived at the car to turn round and see Duff walking. He'd decked it again. He looked sore. He should've strode home ten foot tall listening to the chink of his newly aquired steely buttocks after such a great cycle. However, from purely a selfish point of view. If only I'd seen him it would have at least made me laugh. I think someone must have swapped the Duff I know as on the way home his spirits were still high as we talked about the uberchallenging future. Maybe tinned meatballs make you tough. Tell your kids.

So there we have it an aptly titled blog. Tune in soon my favourite blog readers and word to your mother. Keep on keeping on.

Ewan And Duff Nipping At Jack Frosts Nose!

With the Winter weather dropping to a wicked -24ish the intrepid Uberchallengers have had to forge their way across a frost covered wasteland and racking up an impressive double dunter of 21 and 18 mile cycles.

As far as the eye could see the ice had us in its unforgiving grip but we carried on through the frozen fields and treacherous cycle paths with a steely determination.

We overcame some truly dangerous situations but our toughest challenge was just around the corner as we reached our frozen nemesis in the shape of a colossal puddle that stretched as far as the eye could see, rather than walk away from the danger we faced it head on with Ewan the first to take the plunge.

It was possible it would seem, so with a heart the size of Aslans the mighty Ice Warrior Duff rolled up to slay this glaciated Dragon.

After definitely breaking my left buttock I heroically carried on until a mere 100 yards around the corner we met a frozen puddle that dwarfed my conqueror and we were well and truly between a rock and a hard place, however, with discretion being the better part of valour we took to the nearby foliage and circumnavigated our way to safety

We did eventually trek on and, despite my life threatening injury, we managed a best run of 21 miles making it all the way to the town made famous by 'The Scheme', Kilmarnock. As I was still smarting from my fall my willingness to pose for a celebratory photo in Kilmarnock was not at its greatest.

With that Saturday morning run behind us our Thursday cycle took us through Kilbirnie, Lochwinnoch and up to Kilbarchan it was a beautiful evening and we took advantage of the lack of wind by going further than we had initially planned.

It was a sterling effort that took us both by surprise as we clocked another impressive 18 miles and we got to enjoy the glorious scenery and despite how cold it is, this time of year can give you some of the best views Scotland can offer, even if there are over sized oafs in the way sometimes

So with that we will leave you with this wintry warning, Beware The Ice! Unless you want a left buttock that throbs for days, oh, and enjoy the crisp Scottish winter before the crisp Scottish Summer kicks in.

As a sneaky extra here is the video that didn't seem to work in the last blog, when you see my soul and rhythm you will realise why we went to the effort of sneaking it in at the end of this one, enjoy.

This is it. This time I know it's the real thing. I can't believe what a feeling

The words of the Danni Minogue classic said it all to me as we powered effortlessly cross county and into South Ayrshire bagging our 3rd shire in the process.

Over Christmas I started to doubt whether the ludicrous idea of Gregor learning to ride a bike and travel the length of Britain was ever going to happen. But after 3 strong cycles (one already covered in a previous blog by gregor and the great hole of Saltcoats aka "the greatest return since Walter Smith") I am once again confident and filled with belief.

Cycle 1 - Ewan's house to Stevenson

Gregor started the cycle resplendent in his snazzy new gear.

This was our first cycle of what was to be a huge year and possibly include the the greatest achievement of our lives. We started strongly. However as I headed up the hills I waited for Gregor at Kilwinning. When he arrived three miles into the journey he let me know he was finished and he was going straight home after he'd sat down for a rest. On the trip we will have a mere 77 miles more to do on any given day. The blog is a lesser place as I didn't catch this on picture. I think I threatened to find a new partner like some kind of stroppy wife.

However, after a 5 minute sit down and refuelling there was an incredible twist to the cycle as we strode on valiantly to the town of Stevenson. An incredible three miles past Kilwinning. As proven below.

 The smile says it all.

The third cycle to paraphrase Dr Hook in his pomp was "The Sweetest of All"

Incredibly we made it to South Ayrshire and in particular Troon

 As we passed Irvine I came over all old again and marvelled at how much better this bridge is than new ones.

Here Gregor the eco warrior saves a tree.  What you didn't see is the old lady who had been under it as he raced to catch it before the old lady's almost certain death. I was annoyed not to be quicker to get the camera out and made a mental note to be quicker next time.

 As we ploughed on I demonstrated my incredible strength by cutting down this tree with a single chop.

 Here we enter South Ayrshire and just to prove it, incase you can't read the sign, the close up is below.

As we started the return journey we connected Gregor's future phone into my new future handlebar radio and let the good times roll. The video below illustrates not only our bike tunes and the incredible future sound of the handlebar radio but most importantly the fun enjoyed by all as Gregor did a dance of delight. Classic times. Crazy days. I've seldom seen him so happy.

On the way home Gregor (friend of the animals (and trees as proved earlier))Miller fed the horses some hay and Hay what a great cycle HAHA. Finishing off with a joke. Leaving the reader smiling and sitting on the edge of their seat desperate to tune in to the next escapade (note that I said reader and not readers). I never meant that but left it in as it may be true - if we have one.

Love to the reader(s)

The Greatest Return Since Walter Smith

The Uber Challenge was momentarily derailed by such events as Christmas, New Year, Hurricane Bawbag and a really rather splendid trip to Amsterdam. We had planned to cycle around Amsterdam but it was difficult enough just trying to cross the street so we decided against it.

But now we are back and with new bicycles no less;

We are getting back into the swing of things now and I have to say that the snazzy new cycling gear and helmet may transform us from a pair of handsome Adonis's into the most ludicrous looking pair of goons you would be unfortunate to come across but, as they say, safety first!

We have already had to overcome several issues on our cycles so far like Saltcoats potholes, these differ from your everyday, normal potholes in one way....size.

But like Scott of the Antarctic (minus the tragic death) we battled on and over/through our obstacles

We have been hitting the cycle tracks in and around sunny Kilwinning recently and apart from the odd twig in the way...

...it looks as if we are back on track, or cycle track as the case may be AHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA....cycle track....we shall be returning with the regular up dates now so keep your eyes open for us.

Hills and Traffic

Sunday the 30th of October may not mean much to the average Joe Bloggs or Ben Zini. But to Ewan and Duff it was a large step in the right direction. that direction being South and in particular Land's End (fingers crossed). The reason we have decided to do John O'Groats to Land's End and not the other way is because one way is clearly down hill - all the way down the world and Land's End to Scotland is clearly all the way up. So there we have it - a no brainer.

It had been 2 weeks since our last cycle which granted wasn't great considering our ambition and how much we need to train for it. Gregor had arranged to turn up at mine at 10.30am but in his own eager fitness first way he decided 9.45 would be better. It should be noted that this was not to do with the clocks changing. it was mainly down to an excellent sportsman's attitude.

Here we are setting out first thing full of the joys.

So this was our first cycle that involved distance and leaving straight from my house. I didn't let go to Duff too much about what lay ahead except that there would be a few hills.

Off we went free wheeling down the park along the road and up the Blair. Things were going swell although the hills were tough first thing in the morning. However, Gregor proclaimed that "it was a great way to learn how to use gears".

Early on we enjoyed the peaceful ambience of the Blair estate and it's surroundings. Saying "Hello" to several other cyclists and horsey people. We even saw what must have been an eagle. I used my cameraman skills to take this snap:



Impressive? I know. We continued to plod on uphill. Duff didn't seem to be aware of any downhill section. Although, it must surely have been 50/50.

As we reached our highest point Duff was behind me so i slowed down to let him catch up. As he approached he gave me the news that he would have to stop as he was going to spew. Six miles on a bike will do that to you. I hope this doesn't happen every six miles in the ubercycle. As we would have to stop 167 times by my calculations.

 

Anyway, his legs felt strong and after 5 minutes, no spewing, a seat on a fire hydrant and a drink of two week old water from the waterbottle he fought on. His spirits lifted quickly as he made zooming noises and sang "please release me" at volume coming down the Blair Road. As we approached the bottom of the Blair I noticed Duff's mood change slightly as we approached an uphill start and a right turn at a busy junction. Here I am working out my best plan of attack.

Worryingly, a kind man on the left waved us out as we were waiting to go so I went for it. Only to notice that a car was coming from our right. So I stood on the pedals and pressed forward shouting for the inexperienced Duff to follow. Bravely he took the bull by the horns and went for it. As we got over to the far side of the road. I could still hear Duff shouting "DANGER DANGER!". Afterwards, Duff commented that "even the hairs on the back of his back were standing up".

We headed home singing out loud and were happy with our feat. Eight point one miles doesn't seem a lot but it was how we tackled the hills and traffic that mattered.

Onwards and upwards

please note: The pictures used within this blog may not be originals.

Through the Mill(port)

For once we got a pleasant day for a ride and today we went to Millport. Scotlands Sicily is a beacon for tourists and the 10 mile circumference is enjoyed by cyclists all year round. To add to the glory and excitement we were joined by Dave! Dave is also mulling over joining the Uberchallenge, a welcome addition if he gives it the green light.

We headed towards Largs with Ewans Bike (which I ride) Ewans brother in laws (Russel 'The muscles' Hamilton) that Ewan rides and Andy Taits old bike that he borrowed from his neighbour when he was 13. This was the bicycle that Ewan had such difficulty with previously as the back wheel kind of comes off a bit or gets wedged to a halt. This would be Daves bike but we thought it wise to keep its chequered past under wraps.

So we got our tickets and climbed aboard, Ewan and myself getting harangued upstairs by a worker while hiding from Dave when he went to the toilet, and set sail.

Ticket office

When the boat comes in

Excited?

Ewans Titanic moment

So when back on terra firma we set off, passing a couple of walkers on the way, we rode on. Catching up with me ewan decided to interview me for the blog, he's no Parkinson that's for sure. It was filmed sideyways but hopefully its changed now.

There was good feeling and spirits were high with the sun shining. Daves bold claims of "melting the tarmac" rang in our ears as we raced by each other a few times. Then disaster struck! Perhaps we should have mentioned to Dave that his bike had seen more roadworthy days. I heard a screech of tyres and turned to see Dave hit the deck, stifling my laughter I fained sympathy. Ewan once again repaired the bike before bravely swapping with Dave for the remainder of the trip while Dave regained some feeling in his right elbow.

We carried on and to Daves credit the injuries weren't mentioned again. It is quite a pleasant place but I think being about 10 miles around is enough, you wouldn't need any more. We stopped at a war memorial which seemed fitting as my chosen charity for the Uberchallenge is Erskine Hospital who care for ex service men and woman and who, it transpires, my Great Grandfather helped out as well.

Now my memory of youthful Millport visits always had a trip to the joke shop so how could we not? I picked up a delightful car sticker and porcelain Goose for Lauren. Coming in to the town we couldn't resist some nice tourist pictures seeing as how we had come all the way from the mainland.

All in all we clocked up around 12 miles including our cycle from the car to the ferry and back. apart from Daves capers it was a good solid ride that we can be proud of and was the first time I have negotiated real life roads with actual traffic. I will leave you with this picture of me taken by Ewan as we neared the ferry, how much does that rock look like a Lion!!!