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Sunday, 17 June 2012

Ewan heroically rescues a sheep

Today I got up and decided I should really cycle, as I hadn't been out in a week and jogbut is getting closer. So off I set. I thought to myself that I would just cycle over to Lisa's in Irvine and back. A 20 miler.

However, on the way, at the back of the Blair Estate in Dalry I saw a sheep on its back writhing around. Now, once in 1999 at Kelburn Country Park in Largs I saw a sheep stuck on its back. Me and my friend Robbie could not stop laughing. Stupid sheep. However, that night at dinner my Mum informed me that that sheep would've probably died. Not so funny!

Anyway, I thought this is it. Redemption. I'll save this sheep. I stopped at the gate and it had been struggling for at least 30 seconds. The other sheep, who could clearly have nudged it over, just didn't seem to care. So I set off on a rescue mission. Best to watch the video

So there we have it the fly sheep was merely itching its back or something. Redemption will have to wait. But I guess it's the thought that counts.

So that's it one video one blog. Or is it? Actually no. If you look below you'll be amazed to see some red belly button fluff. Yes red! I couldn't believe it either. It's a well known fact belly button fluff is always blue.

So long readers and sorry about the misleading title. It was a lot better than Ewan didn't rescue a sheep.
Uber Ewan

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Hills and Roadkills

It seems a while since I've written one of these. Mainly thanks to Duff's 7 week sabbatical in the midst of a gruelling training schedule that was meant to prepare us for the cycling holy grail that was Lands End to John O'Groats or lejog as the cycling fanatics refer to it.

Anyway, with lejog put on the back burner we are, as Duff confirmed in the last blog, taking on John O'Groats to Berwick upon Tweed jogbut as we refer to it. Well we don't, but we might, if it catches on.

So with jogbut in our sights Duff said he was free on Sunday. The plan was for both of us to set off at 1300 hours and I'd meet him half way. I left 10 minutes late yet had to phone Duff as I approached Kilwinning (Duff stays in Kilwinning). Duff assured me he was on his way. After a stop and several shots on my future scrabble playing phone I got bored and headed further towards Kilwinning. I stopped again at another turning I thought we could take. We were heading around 10 miles with the intended destination of Stewarton. To cut a long story short Duff eventually arrived

Duff arriving
I had researched the route and had a rough idea but as I had cycled on to meet Duff I gambled on a shortcut but decided it was best not to tell Duff and leave it with me looking confident and assured.

Anyway, Two miles in, things took a turn for the worse. See below
Things turning worse
 Five whole minutes later and things didn't look much better with Duff in the recovery position
5 minutes later
 However, Duff did come back round like Rocky in any Rocky film (I've never seen a Rocky film but I get the gist) and reaped his reward by enjoying some splendid roadkill. 

It was a fox that looked something like the isle of man flag or a swastika. Much to my disbelief Duff tried to pick it up. After my initial shock I was overcome with a bout of laughter and hysteria. It was soggy and putrid on the underside with a stench of old dead soggy fox. Duff said he thought it would have been crispy like a Frisbee and that i was lucky it wasn't cos if it had been it was coming my way. Phew!

Duff's ironically named "Muddy Fox" gloves stank like a skunk with burnt hair.

We moved on (slowly)only to come across this dead shrew in the middle of the road. Dr Dufflittle (actually Dr Do little would be a good name for Duff but for the sake of an average pun it's Dufflittle) decided he needed a better grave and kindly buried him at the side of the road.

Gadz a ming as they say in Ayrshire

With one glove smelling of dead fox and one smelling of dead shrew we plowed on only to get lost pretty bad doing a five mile hilly loop. We should've known taking three lefts was a bad idea. However, we did see a nice house. ironically about 2 years previous I'd been lost in that very spot.
Me trying to get in to a position to get the burn in the picture
A beautiful sign that Duff enjoyed

  There was one high point to these otherwise pointless miles as we saw this incredible superhero style horse. Haha it still makes me laugh. That farmer must have a good sense of humour. Where would he have managed to acquire such a hilarious suit. 

 We eventually made it to Stewarton where we stocked up on food in Sainsbury's and sat on these benches to enjoy it. One highlight was when i was trying to cycle with a baguette in my pocket only for it to fall out going round a roundabout. I could hear Duff's hysteria all to well as the Baguette hit the ground with a thump. The wrapper was still in my pocket.

After this it was freewheeling and laughter all the way home. We both felt good after 22 miles of steep hills. After 2 miles jogbut was off but now it is very much back on. 

Stay tuned till next time as we are hitting the home straight and things are getting so hot the chickens will soon be laying hard boiled eggs. 

So long and adios amigos.

Also, Fiona if you are reading I apologise again for spelling and punctuation..

Sunday, 10 June 2012

The Greatest Comeback Since Lazarus

It's been a while and there is some huge news in the world of the Uberchallenge. Following a hectic work schedule and rather smashing trips to London and either Majorca/Mallorca/Menorca (Not sure but it was lovely and sunny), it was decided that due to lack of preparation and the possibility of catching up made near to impossible due to work and Ewans street dance troupe we had a decision to make. As a result we are now going to concentrate on tackling Scotland alone, still an unnerving feat for both myself and the lazy, inactive Ewan.

That said we are both back in the saddle and last week took a glorious trip along the glorious West coast to Ardrossan. Making the most of the incredible sunshine we headed out like a pair of migrating Buffalo chasing the sun's descent across the clear blue sky.

Here you can see the stunning, rolling green hills that we are blessed with in this beautiful country and we pedaled on see more. Cycling beside the shore gave us some great photo opportunities as you can see below, these would not look out of place in next years 'Handsome Cyclists in Saltcoats, Stevenston & Ardrossan Calender'.

On approach to Ardrossan our manly bellies rumbled however our pockets were empty, we were up the proverbial creek until I realised that my woman was working there. We cycled on with hope in our hearts stopping only to take a picture of an interesting seagull on a van.

Unfortunately the feathery little prick had other ideas so I had to stand in.

We entered Laurens workplace and demanded ten of her British pounds so we could exchange this cash for some kind of chipped potato. After accompanying her to the Asda cash machine, dodging Ardrossan locals, or 'Scumbags' as they are more commonly known on the way, we found our way to the Spicy Hut.

Laurens generosity knew no bounds and before long we were in possession of two Cheese Burger and chip meals, the cheese burgers enhanced by a delightful garlic sauce.

 Making our way down to the promenade we settled down to enjoy our meals.

Now when two prime examples of manhood sit down to share a meal in the evening in such a beautiful location there is only one way to do it. The following video captures this fantastically.

After finishing we remembered to bin our rubbish because littering is unacceptable.

After nourishing our minds, bodies and souls we headed back on a fairly uneventful trip, uneventful until we saw a rare moment of peace and beauty on the way home. Just beyond the town of Stevenston the cycle track reaches an embankment, on one side a park, the other an untouched wilderness. It was in that wilderness that we saw evidence of Gods beautiful handiwork. In this most inauspicious of places where Buckfast and stabbings are as commonplace as water and handshakes we saw three deer carefully making there way across the scrub-land. Stopping occasionally to drop their heads and take a mouthful of vegetation we watched in awe as these graceful creatures made their way across this country, much like the Uberchallengers will do in the months ahead.