Hills and Roadkills

It seems a while since I've written one of these. Mainly thanks to Duff's 7 week sabbatical in the midst of a gruelling training schedule that was meant to prepare us for the cycling holy grail that was Lands End to John O'Groats or lejog as the cycling fanatics refer to it.

Anyway, with lejog put on the back burner we are, as Duff confirmed in the last blog, taking on John O'Groats to Berwick upon Tweed jogbut as we refer to it. Well we don't, but we might, if it catches on.

So with jogbut in our sights Duff said he was free on Sunday. The plan was for both of us to set off at 1300 hours and I'd meet him half way. I left 10 minutes late yet had to phone Duff as I approached Kilwinning (Duff stays in Kilwinning). Duff assured me he was on his way. After a stop and several shots on my future scrabble playing phone I got bored and headed further towards Kilwinning. I stopped again at another turning I thought we could take. We were heading around 10 miles with the intended destination of Stewarton. To cut a long story short Duff eventually arrived

Duff arriving

I had researched the route and had a rough idea but as I had cycled on to meet Duff I gambled on a shortcut but decided it was best not to tell Duff and leave it with me looking confident and assured.

Anyway, Two miles in, things took a turn for the worse. See below

Things turning worse

 Five whole minutes later and things didn't look much better with Duff in the recovery position

5 minutes later

 However, Duff did come back round like Rocky in any Rocky film (I've never seen a Rocky film but I get the gist) and reaped his reward by enjoying some splendid roadkill. 

It was a fox that looked something like the isle of man flag or a swastika. Much to my disbelief Duff tried to pick it up. After my initial shock I was overcome with a bout of laughter and hysteria. It was soggy and putrid on the underside with a stench of old dead soggy fox. Duff said he thought it would have been crispy like a Frisbee and that i was lucky it wasn't cos if it had been it was coming my way. Phew!

Duff's ironically named "Muddy Fox" gloves stank like a skunk with burnt hair.

We moved on (slowly)only to come across this dead shrew in the middle of the road. Dr Dufflittle (actually Dr Do little would be a good name for Duff but for the sake of an average pun it's Dufflittle) decided he needed a better grave and kindly buried him at the side of the road.

Gadz a ming as they say in Ayrshire

With one glove smelling of dead fox and one smelling of dead shrew we plowed on only to get lost pretty bad doing a five mile hilly loop. We should've known taking three lefts was a bad idea. However, we did see a nice house. ironically about 2 years previous I'd been lost in that very spot.

Me trying to get in to a position to get the burn in the picture

A beautiful sign that Duff enjoyed

  There was one high point to these otherwise pointless miles as we saw this incredible superhero style horse. Haha it still makes me laugh. That farmer must have a good sense of humour. Where would he have managed to acquire such a hilarious suit. 

 We eventually made it to Stewarton where we stocked up on food in Sainsbury's and sat on these benches to enjoy it. One highlight was when i was trying to cycle with a baguette in my pocket only for it to fall out going round a roundabout. I could hear Duff's hysteria all to well as the Baguette hit the ground with a thump. The wrapper was still in my pocket.

After this it was freewheeling and laughter all the way home. We both felt good after 22 miles of steep hills. After 2 miles jogbut was off but now it is very much back on. 

Stay tuned till next time as we are hitting the home straight and things are getting so hot the chickens will soon be laying hard boiled eggs. 

So long and adios amigos.

Also, Fiona if you are reading I apologise again for spelling and punctuation..

The Greatest Comeback Since Lazarus

It's been a while and there is some huge news in the world of the Uberchallenge. Following a hectic work schedule and rather smashing trips to London and either Majorca/Mallorca/Menorca (Not sure but it was lovely and sunny), it was decided that due to lack of preparation and the possibility of catching up made near to impossible due to work and Ewans street dance troupe we had a decision to make. As a result we are now going to concentrate on tackling Scotland alone, still an unnerving feat for both myself and the lazy, inactive Ewan.

That said we are both back in the saddle and last week took a glorious trip along the glorious West coast to Ardrossan. Making the most of the incredible sunshine we headed out like a pair of migrating Buffalo chasing the sun's descent across the clear blue sky.

Here you can see the stunning, rolling green hills that we are blessed with in this beautiful country and we pedaled on see more. Cycling beside the shore gave us some great photo opportunities as you can see below, these would not look out of place in next years 'Handsome Cyclists in Saltcoats, Stevenston & Ardrossan Calender'.

On approach to Ardrossan our manly bellies rumbled however our pockets were empty, we were up the proverbial creek until I realised that my woman was working there. We cycled on with hope in our hearts stopping only to take a picture of an interesting seagull on a van.

Unfortunately the feathery little prick had other ideas so I had to stand in.

We entered Laurens workplace and demanded ten of her British pounds so we could exchange this cash for some kind of chipped potato. After accompanying her to the Asda cash machine, dodging Ardrossan locals, or 'Scumbags' as they are more commonly known on the way, we found our way to the Spicy Hut.

Laurens generosity knew no bounds and before long we were in possession of two Cheese Burger and chip meals, the cheese burgers enhanced by a delightful garlic sauce.

 Making our way down to the promenade we settled down to enjoy our meals.

Now when two prime examples of manhood sit down to share a meal in the evening in such a beautiful location there is only one way to do it. The following video captures this fantastically.

After finishing we remembered to bin our rubbish because littering is unacceptable.

After nourishing our minds, bodies and souls we headed back on a fairly uneventful trip, uneventful until we saw a rare moment of peace and beauty on the way home. Just beyond the town of Stevenston the cycle track reaches an embankment, on one side a park, the other an untouched wilderness. It was in that wilderness that we saw evidence of Gods beautiful handiwork. In this most inauspicious of places where Buckfast and stabbings are as commonplace as water and handshakes we saw three deer carefully making there way across the scrub-land. Stopping occasionally to drop their heads and take a mouthful of vegetation we watched in awe as these graceful creatures made their way across this country, much like the Uberchallengers will do in the months ahead.

All Alone In The Wilds

With the Easter long weekend approaching I decided to plan a lengthy and more challenging cycle. So full of enthusiasm I phoned Duff. Surely everyone gets time off at Easter. But there was to be bad news as the manic work schedule wouldn't allow it. This was not a good start. Trying not to let the loss of my good buddy get to me I decided I'm a respectable 30 years old man. I have my own house and car. Not to mention outdoor gardening broom. 

Things quickly fell into place as I found out both my sisters families would be in Tighnabruaich at the family holiday home. It was around 60 miles away and manageable. So I planned my route and decided to leave on Good Friday.

In the text and pictures below you can follow me on what was a journey full of fun and enjoyment.

As I awoke at 7.15 with a planned departure of 8 I  took my first pick. I can look much worse at 7.15.

So "take lots of pictures for the blog" I thought. "chart the whole journey. It'll make great reading" I thought. This would be the making of me!

Quick as a flash I was on my bike. This was my first opportunity to take a picture for the blog. Please see my first pictures below.

 This was going badly. Turned out things weren't as easy without my friend Duff. Heroically I showed my steely resolve and set off. It was raining but there was little wind and conditions were good.  I enjoy the freedom and peacefulness of cycling for miles and I was looking forward to the trip.

My first stop was Bridge of Weir. Below is my noble steed on what must surely be the Bridge of Weir.

 After a 5 minute stop, a mars bar and a sip of my water I set off. As I got to Kilmacolm I came across these warriors. They are excellent. I didn't want to stop as an old man with a beard was stopped. So, I took this pic on the hoof. There was a white warrior on the other side. Pip from work said it is the creation of some artist. I liked it.

 Rolling on I saw the peaks of the Port Glasgow castles (see below).

Port Glasgow seems to be known for its street artistry. Andy seems to be the YP number 1. I think FTP stands for friend to the people. What a nice place.

The pic below I think was after I passed the port glasgow/Greenock border. These derelict  houses didn't look so healthy and I wondered what I was cycling into.

  I was cycling into this great view!

Why people don't want to stay here is beyond me. The view is terrific. As I cycled on I must have seen at least 12 mattresses and 3 hoovers. This was basically free household goods for anyone who wants to come and pick them up. Unfortunately, I then missed a turning. I ended up on a street. Immediately I realised I should've seen a sign. As I turned round I noticed I was on the top street of Greenock. The houses didn't look so smiley. I looked at the street name it said Mackie Street but had been graffited with some genius wit. A little concerned I decided not to take a picture and head back to the path. I regretted this decision for.. In fact I still regret not taking a picture so I have recreated the scene below

There is no need for the y but it still made me laugh.

I felt the van above was worth a picture. If ever you need an egg in Greenock you should go to this bloke for the slogan alone. 

 I new the cycle track linked up with the ferry to Dunoon. I had taken the ferry many times as a youngster when I was going on holiday. However, the ferry I new was a big car ferry and this was just a passenger ferry. It definitely said Dunoon. That was good enough for me and I hopped on.

Rammed to capacity

I had travelled about 33 mainly flat miles. I new the next 26 mile section was to be more challenging. I cycled up hill for over ten miles and stopped at Loch Tarsan. See below

My video footage isn't super. I sound like a big slow ned.

 It was still raining and I saw no point in stopping. I did, however, have to stop twice on the steepest hill. My Dad said it's called ballachabuch or something like that. Anyway, great news was to follow as I reached the view point. I new this wasn't far from Tighnabruaich. I also new it was mainly down hill.

 I arrived at 1.45. The afternoon was super. We went out on the gnu with Ricky and the kids and later I went to the pub with my sisters.

As I left to go home the weather wasn't at its best. the scene below is the same as the viewpoint above. I think I was in a cloud.

I tried to take a picture of Ballachabuch to show its incredible gradient. This picture just doesn't do it justice.

Again I stopped at Loch Tarsan as I new it was mainly down hill from here on in. I checked my texts to see my Mum had text to say ferries were one per hour. It was 10.10am. I felt the 10.50 ferry was worth a try. It was roughly 11 miles away. I had a sporting chance. If I could keep the speedo above 16mph I could make it. I set off with jet heels. The wind was at my back and I flew down the hills.

Careering along the front towards Dunoon I was on target. I could see the boat. As I arrived I looked to go down the jetty only for a man to shout "you've missed it, next ones in an hour". I checked my watch and it was 10.49. I had misjudged my mileage and had done 13.5 since I stopped. Oh well, it was Sunday and I wasn't in a hurry. I videoed the ferry sailing off and decided to cycle two miles back to the car ferry. I should just've got it in the first place. 

 The music on the handlebar radio in the video was the Sunday morning sidewalk by Johnny Cash. It was pure coincidence that it was Sunday morning and I was on the sidewalk.

Below is the car ferry. The men were pleasant and friendly and asked where I had been. One man told me he used to go to Tighnabruaich in his mini and could only make it up balachabuch in reverse. We laughed and I decided this was a nicer ferry to be on anyway.

I continued at good speeds on the way home although the wind in my face slowed me down. All in this was a great trip and I realised again how much extra freedom I had since retiring from football in January. Hopefully these pages will be filled with Duff in the next update and the uberchallenge will continue with a full compliment and twice the fun.

Going loco in Kilmarnock and flying with the goose

So the Uberchallenge train is still well and truly on the tracks with John O'Groats the destination and the weekly run average being doubled thanks to British summer time (well for this week at least). Last Tuesday I met Duff after work in an effort to squeeze in a cycle before the sun went down. Below is a picture from our turning point on the back road from Dalry to Kilwinning. It was agreed that a Tuesday cycle would become a weekly addition to our training regime.

With the extra evening miles out the way we set about tearing up the cycle track again as we had Kilmarnock in our sites. I met Russell faster further Hamilton (remember him from previous blogs?) at the back of the Blair. See below

We then set off to get Duff. Little did we know he would be late. It turned out this was due to a last ditch portion of chicken nuggets (these were to play havoc with his stomach). Anyway, this was not time lost as myself and rusty fixed his breaks and I rigged up the future handlebar radio that gets us odd looks from passers by all over Ayrshire. Russell quickly set about testing his breaks in some style. See below and note the skid mark. In the other pic you should notice Duff's slick confident style as he powers round a corner in some style. This is a far cry from the public park cycle of October 2011.

 All was good as we set off with gusto and at high speeds. I could try and explain the video below. But words don't do our cycling euphoria justice. It's best to view it yourself

Before long we reached the end of the old Dalry to Kilmarnock railway line. You may remember this from a previous Uberblog when Duff's picture posing wasn't at it's greatest. So I decided to right this wrong. The first effort wasn't great but the second one was what I was looking for. Sixth time lucky!

 After this it was new ground as we ploughed on in search of "The Scheme". No one was sure but we thought  we may be in it. If any Uberchallenge followers would like to shed any light on this please do and we'll tick it off the Uber-to-do-list.

The Scheme?

As time went on we had turned and headed for home. There was still time for Duff to find this incredible way of upping his speed. He was like a cross between Dr Dolittle and Marti McFly on his hoverboard. He glided on for miles. Unbelievable stuff!!

With the wind beneath our wings we flew on only to find two tractors full of shreddies heading along the cycle path. See below. Unfortunately I wasn't exactly quick on the draw with the camera.

Below I have Duff walking. He likes to take any small opportunity to push his bike. In fact I pondered the Uberblog on my way home and reckoned if it wasn't for the sheer unlikeliness of Duff completing this challenge or any cycle for that matter this would just be another boring blog.

With another great 25 miles bagged we chatted, laughed and zoomed homeward. Here we are at the crossroads waving farewell. "Bye Russell" shouted Duff. "I bid you adieu my good man" replied Russell. Things were nice.

 So until next time it's farewell from them and farewell from me.