Hills and Roadkills

It seems a while since I've written one of these. Mainly thanks to Duff's 7 week sabbatical in the midst of a gruelling training schedule that was meant to prepare us for the cycling holy grail that was Lands End to John O'Groats or lejog as the cycling fanatics refer to it.

Anyway, with lejog put on the back burner we are, as Duff confirmed in the last blog, taking on John O'Groats to Berwick upon Tweed jogbut as we refer to it. Well we don't, but we might, if it catches on.

So with jogbut in our sights Duff said he was free on Sunday. The plan was for both of us to set off at 1300 hours and I'd meet him half way. I left 10 minutes late yet had to phone Duff as I approached Kilwinning (Duff stays in Kilwinning). Duff assured me he was on his way. After a stop and several shots on my future scrabble playing phone I got bored and headed further towards Kilwinning. I stopped again at another turning I thought we could take. We were heading around 10 miles with the intended destination of Stewarton. To cut a long story short Duff eventually arrived

Duff arriving

I had researched the route and had a rough idea but as I had cycled on to meet Duff I gambled on a shortcut but decided it was best not to tell Duff and leave it with me looking confident and assured.

Anyway, Two miles in, things took a turn for the worse. See below

Things turning worse

 Five whole minutes later and things didn't look much better with Duff in the recovery position

5 minutes later

 However, Duff did come back round like Rocky in any Rocky film (I've never seen a Rocky film but I get the gist) and reaped his reward by enjoying some splendid roadkill. 

It was a fox that looked something like the isle of man flag or a swastika. Much to my disbelief Duff tried to pick it up. After my initial shock I was overcome with a bout of laughter and hysteria. It was soggy and putrid on the underside with a stench of old dead soggy fox. Duff said he thought it would have been crispy like a Frisbee and that i was lucky it wasn't cos if it had been it was coming my way. Phew!

Duff's ironically named "Muddy Fox" gloves stank like a skunk with burnt hair.

We moved on (slowly)only to come across this dead shrew in the middle of the road. Dr Dufflittle (actually Dr Do little would be a good name for Duff but for the sake of an average pun it's Dufflittle) decided he needed a better grave and kindly buried him at the side of the road.

Gadz a ming as they say in Ayrshire

With one glove smelling of dead fox and one smelling of dead shrew we plowed on only to get lost pretty bad doing a five mile hilly loop. We should've known taking three lefts was a bad idea. However, we did see a nice house. ironically about 2 years previous I'd been lost in that very spot.

Me trying to get in to a position to get the burn in the picture

A beautiful sign that Duff enjoyed

  There was one high point to these otherwise pointless miles as we saw this incredible superhero style horse. Haha it still makes me laugh. That farmer must have a good sense of humour. Where would he have managed to acquire such a hilarious suit. 

 We eventually made it to Stewarton where we stocked up on food in Sainsbury's and sat on these benches to enjoy it. One highlight was when i was trying to cycle with a baguette in my pocket only for it to fall out going round a roundabout. I could hear Duff's hysteria all to well as the Baguette hit the ground with a thump. The wrapper was still in my pocket.

After this it was freewheeling and laughter all the way home. We both felt good after 22 miles of steep hills. After 2 miles jogbut was off but now it is very much back on. 

Stay tuned till next time as we are hitting the home straight and things are getting so hot the chickens will soon be laying hard boiled eggs. 

So long and adios amigos.

Also, Fiona if you are reading I apologise again for spelling and punctuation..