The Uber Challenge - Day 2

If you have read Duff's blog from day one you will realise that we had a splendid day. Day two would also be action packed. However, it started in terrible fashion as I awoke at 5.50 and decided to go and shower I realised it had been raining. This is not great news for our tents as if you touch the tent from inside the rain comes tumbling in. Not great when you are 6 foot 4 in a small tent. This, however, was the least of our worries. I clambered out my tents in just my shorts and by the time I had stood up i was black with midges. I ran for the shower. When i came out I counted 32 swollen bites on my upper body. I also had one on my lip. I got this pic off t'internet. When looking at it imagine the spaces between the midges are full of midges and you may get somewhere close to realising our torment.

We raced to take down our tents and pack our panniers and were on the road for 6.30am and ten miles down by 7.30 where we stopped for refreshments at Bonar Bridge (below).

MMMMMM rolls and garlic sausage 

Our favourite graffiti. A rubbish chicken randomly on a sign near nowhere 

Hey guys! I'm in Bonar Bridge. Sha!

At Bonar Bridge we had to tackle a mountain over to Alness. I had cycled the opposite way a few days before and you could see for miles and miles. When I arrived at the viewpoint with Duff our view wasn't just so great.

Duff's jacket was like a parachute as he'd forgotten a waterproof. Luckily, I had a spare one. Fortunately, the wind was behind us and like Bette Midler said we had the wind beneath our wings.

As we cycled up the hill Duff shouted "Ewan, want to start a band called Max Speed and the Loose Chippings. We'll have free advertisement and promotion all round Scotland". "Great Idea" I shouted back. He replied our first song could be "don't drive, don't drive so, don't drive so fast on me" (to tune of don't stand so close to me by the police). It was light relief from a gruelling slog and high spirits from Duff in trying conditions.

Max Speed 

Next we stopped for breakfast in Evanton. A lovely christian run cafe with a large knitting group in the corner. We helped ourselves to a full cooked breakfast and extra toast. Followed by scones. We were about 30 miles down and it was only about 11.

As we came down the mountain we met a lovely lady. We told her of our intention to skip Dingwall and a 7 mile bend by negotiating a scary A9 Bridge. She said she was terrified whenever she saw cyclists go over that bridge. This news didn't exactly fill us with confidence. She was a lovely woman though and she took our picture.

Our fear new no bounds as we ploughed forward and onto the A9 and over the bridge.

Duff trying to hitch a ride and avoid the cycle

Afterwards, Duff mentioned he thought he had had a healthy respect for heights but it turned out he had an irrational fear of them.

We navigated through small roads and towns such as Culbokie on our way to Inverness when the heavens opened about 12 miles shy of our destination. At this point Duff got the excellent Lauren to book us a B and B in the centre of Inverness. Everything became bearable. We approached the main bridge going into Inverness. A far greater beast than what we had previously conquered. Below you can see Duff slaying the dragon.

Whilst I waited on Duff I had time to make a short video diary.

So we successfully navigated our way into Inverness and to the Glenuig guest house. We got changed and promptly headed for the Kool Runnings Cafe that Duff had told me all about.

What an excellent time we had eating the finest Jamaican food. This was one of my favourite moments of the whole trip. My favourite ever restaurant.

We headed back to the B and B to watch another excellent night of Olympics and I had the great idea of  drying my stuff with the hair dryer. My cycling stuff didn't smell the best anyway after wearing it for 6 consecutive days with just one hand wash but after hairdrying it the stench was unbearable. I don't know what that hairdryer did but it was unpleasant. It was like a skunk with singed hair.

The room was fantastic as were the beds.

Duff crashed out for half 9 and I wasn't much later. We had completed a further 51 miles taking our tally to 88 miles. The rain had made it tough at points but the weather on the whole had been far better than expected and the b and b was an excellent success.

I would also like to remind viewers that Duff only learned to ride a bike in October and on the 14 weeks running up to leaving he went 3 cycles with me. I'm not sure if he did anymore on his own. His adventure so far meant he must have incredible natural fitness and will power that he chooses to use whenever he can be bothered which, isn't often.


Remember you can sponsor us with Duff's charity being The Erskine charity - go here to sponsor http://www.justgiving.com/Gregor-Miller0 or text LLCI81 £5 (or whatever amount) to 70070 

and my charity is Alzheimer Scotland - you can go here to sponsor:

http://www.justgiving.com/ewan-jamieson0 or text JGGO80 £5 (or whatever amount) to 70070 

Any sponsorship will be greatly appreciated. 

The Uber Challenge - Day One

The Marleys were dead to begin with...no wait...that's The Muppet Christmas Carol. The Uberchallenge doesn't start so morbidly, however, will it end that way? 

To start this we need to come into this from two angles, myself (Duff) drove up to Inverness with my beautiful and magnificent Lauren who would have to navigate her way back to the wilds of Kilwinning from the civilised Highlands. We stayed in a lovely hotel and enjoyed puddings...

...and breakfasts that would be fit for a king.

Meanwhile Ewan and Russel had been haring up Scotland by bicycle at  a rate of 90-100 miles a day before reaching John O' Groats in a feat that pretty much makes the uberchallenge look like nipping to the shop to buy a paper, lets just ignore that fact.

More amazing still is that Russels bike broke under the immense strain of awesomeness upon it. After struggling on, a fellow cyclist drove by and lent Russel her bike to continue the final 40 miles as well as taking Russels before meeting back up at the end. A glorious moment for humanity and faith!

After travelling up to meet at Tongue I was devestated to discover that Ewan thought my evening wear of Jeans and two polo shirts as well as my Crocodile Dundee replica knife, 'Bertha',

 would cause an unneccesary strain on the bike and the great pannier cull of 2012 began. They never made the trip :'(

After that upsetting set back it was time to set off, Lauren on a grueling drive back down south, us on our Uberchallenge.

Things started well, a quiet single track road that ran for about 30-40 miles saw us comfortably start our journey. The weather was nice as we stopped to have a drink and take in our surroundings.

Again we carried on taking in the sometimes incredible scenary while trying to avoid the hungry little bugs that plague the north. We stopped off to point out the beauty that Scotland has to offer...

...as well as take on board the serious environmental impact that deforrestation has on our glorious land.

As well as this we also stopped briefly in Scotlands coldest place Altnaharra where there were a ridiculous number of deer, in this picture I am pointing at some, not sure if you can see them though

Next up was the thriving metropolis of Crask, the town that never sleeps. It is said to have the most happening nightspot in the north of Scotland and we were not to be disappointed.

We popped into the Crask Inn to get some sustenance and refuel for the rest of the task ahead.

In a town, or whatever it is, that boasts two buildings it is unsurprising to see this Inn on the map as there is nothing for 9 miles either side of it. I'm quite sure if a sheep stood still for long enough in this place it would end up on the map too.

We went in and were greeted by a lovely lady who complimented Ewan on his Aardvark cycling top.

We sat down and were served a magnificent mushroom soup with chunky bread.

The food was delicious and was just what we needed, my water that was described as being "a bit peatey", despite its brown colouring went down a storm too.

The bonus addition of two lovely dogs gave the place a wonderful feeling and made a fantastic place to rest and gain the much needed nourishment to continue our challenge.

On we went, and if you think the cable on Ewans bike breaking, restricting him to his first 6 gears would hinder Ewan then you had better think again! It would take a lot more than that to get this champ down and he planned a stop the following day to get them repaired.

Even an attack by a Highland Wood Troll didn't faze the big chap as he stared it down, causing it to retreat back to the safety of its woodland home.

On we continued and after a strong first day we found our way into Lairg where after following a sign that had been turned round the wrong way we eventually got to where we set up camp.

After showering I made my way back to the tent to dry in the baking summer sunshine (I forgot a towel) to discover that Ewan had made himself two new chums.

 Ducks!!! We would eat well that night, I jest of course because far from wanting to eat the creatures my love of animals and curiosity in their behaviour inspired me to create my first wildlife documentary.

When we were ready we headed in to Lairg town centre and hit the chippy, a fish supper for Ewan and a king rib supper for myself. Well earned. At this point I would like to mention the vile children that were running in and out of the chip shop creating an obstacle as well as being loud and obnoxious while their mother looked on, ignoring the behaviour.

After recovering from this dispicable behaviour we went to the only pub in Lairg to watch the Olympics. The locals who wouldn't have looked out of place in Deliverence, The Wicker Man or The Hills Have Eyes amused us with their awful chat about some Olympic women looking like men, it was a very forward thinking conversation. After these insightful views it was time for bed. Let me tell you, camping is not fun or comfortable however Laurens Totoro head rest cover that survived the Jamieson pannier cull acted as a fabulous pillow.

Stay tuned for Day 2 of the Uberchallenge remember you can sponsor us with my charity being The Erskine charity - go here to sponsor http://www.justgiving.com/Gregor-Miller0 or text LLCI81 £5 (or whatever amount) to 70070 and Ewans is for Alzheimer Scotland - go here to sponsor http://www.justgiving.com/ewan-jamieson0 or text JGGO80 £5 (or whatever amount) to 70070

The Final Countdown

 Right so this is it. The final big cycle and the final big test. My last cycle before I embark and Duff's big test just to prove to one and all that he has the power and the strength to conquer his cycling fears.

So we set off for Kilmarnock. It was Duff's idea. I had said we had to do 50 miles. Duff cunningly led me to Kilmarnock. It turned out to be a 33 mile cycle and Duff had to go and get a tattoo in Kilmarnock whilst I had to go somewhere else in Kilmarnock for 2 hours. As far as friends go he's a rubbish one. He certainly seemed to get what he wanted. Although, I suppose he didn't want to do any of those 33 miles. So maybe it was a compromise. A compromise that led to me sitting alone in a pub for 2 hours in Kilmarnock. In that time I discovered I'm still rubbish at crosswords. One highlight was the boys near me trying to name 11 Rangers players and another claiming McCoist would definitely make a playing comeback.

Below You can see me using my excellent 5 Star Map. This has our route through Scotland. We don't know what roads yet but how hard can it be? Duff is supremely confident. Why? I don't know. It will be fun though.

You may remember bold predictions of cycling down hill from John O'Groats to Lands End (JOGLE) were booted into touch long agos as was Lands End to John O'Groats (LEJOG). Laterally John O'Groats to Berwick upon Tweed (JOGBUT) was also given the heave ho.

I'm now cycling Mull of Galloway to John O'Groats (MOGJOG) then cycling back with Duff from Tongue to Berwick upon Tweed (TONGUEBUT) haha. TONGUEBUT. Too funny. Worth doing for the name alone.

5 Star Map

Duff did treat me to a McDonald's. Maybe he isn't completely  useless

As you can see above we stumbled across the Everglade Forest. Bert and Cedric were nowhere to be seen. Probably stopping Cyril in his tracks

Before long we decided to mix things up and go off the cycle track. We took a sign for eglinton park. This got us lost in Bourtreehill for at least 4 miles as we cycled round paths. We eventually found an end to Labyrintreehill but stumbled across a monstrosity of a three laned roundabout where we manfully took the path round.

Teased with the prospect of heading off route

Monstrsity of a roundabout

Dodging the roundabout

As a little bonus I've left you with a picture of my splendid new cycling T. An Aardvark! Amazing! Haha. I couldn't resist. Lisa says I look skinny. That much is obvious. I knew that she was also swooning at my devilish handsomeness.

Byebye uberreaders xx Maybe see you before the trip.

Ewan heroically rescues a sheep

Today I got up and decided I should really cycle, as I hadn't been out in a week and jogbut is getting closer. So off I set. I thought to myself that I would just cycle over to Lisa's in Irvine and back. A 20 miler.

However, on the way, at the back of the Blair Estate in Dalry I saw a sheep on its back writhing around. Now, once in 1999 at Kelburn Country Park in Largs I saw a sheep stuck on its back. Me and my friend Robbie could not stop laughing. Stupid sheep. However, that night at dinner my Mum informed me that that sheep would've probably died. Not so funny!

Anyway, I thought this is it. Redemption. I'll save this sheep. I stopped at the gate and it had been struggling for at least 30 seconds. The other sheep, who could clearly have nudged it over, just didn't seem to care. So I set off on a rescue mission. Best to watch the video

So there we have it the fly sheep was merely itching its back or something. Redemption will have to wait. But I guess it's the thought that counts.

So that's it one video one blog. Or is it? Actually no. If you look below you'll be amazed to see some red belly button fluff. Yes red! I couldn't believe it either. It's a well known fact belly button fluff is always blue.

So long readers and sorry about the misleading title. It was a lot better than Ewan didn't rescue a sheep.

Uber Ewan

Hills and Roadkills

It seems a while since I've written one of these. Mainly thanks to Duff's 7 week sabbatical in the midst of a gruelling training schedule that was meant to prepare us for the cycling holy grail that was Lands End to John O'Groats or lejog as the cycling fanatics refer to it.

Anyway, with lejog put on the back burner we are, as Duff confirmed in the last blog, taking on John O'Groats to Berwick upon Tweed jogbut as we refer to it. Well we don't, but we might, if it catches on.

So with jogbut in our sights Duff said he was free on Sunday. The plan was for both of us to set off at 1300 hours and I'd meet him half way. I left 10 minutes late yet had to phone Duff as I approached Kilwinning (Duff stays in Kilwinning). Duff assured me he was on his way. After a stop and several shots on my future scrabble playing phone I got bored and headed further towards Kilwinning. I stopped again at another turning I thought we could take. We were heading around 10 miles with the intended destination of Stewarton. To cut a long story short Duff eventually arrived

Duff arriving

I had researched the route and had a rough idea but as I had cycled on to meet Duff I gambled on a shortcut but decided it was best not to tell Duff and leave it with me looking confident and assured.

Anyway, Two miles in, things took a turn for the worse. See below

Things turning worse

 Five whole minutes later and things didn't look much better with Duff in the recovery position

5 minutes later

 However, Duff did come back round like Rocky in any Rocky film (I've never seen a Rocky film but I get the gist) and reaped his reward by enjoying some splendid roadkill. 

It was a fox that looked something like the isle of man flag or a swastika. Much to my disbelief Duff tried to pick it up. After my initial shock I was overcome with a bout of laughter and hysteria. It was soggy and putrid on the underside with a stench of old dead soggy fox. Duff said he thought it would have been crispy like a Frisbee and that i was lucky it wasn't cos if it had been it was coming my way. Phew!

Duff's ironically named "Muddy Fox" gloves stank like a skunk with burnt hair.

We moved on (slowly)only to come across this dead shrew in the middle of the road. Dr Dufflittle (actually Dr Do little would be a good name for Duff but for the sake of an average pun it's Dufflittle) decided he needed a better grave and kindly buried him at the side of the road.

Gadz a ming as they say in Ayrshire

With one glove smelling of dead fox and one smelling of dead shrew we plowed on only to get lost pretty bad doing a five mile hilly loop. We should've known taking three lefts was a bad idea. However, we did see a nice house. ironically about 2 years previous I'd been lost in that very spot.

Me trying to get in to a position to get the burn in the picture

A beautiful sign that Duff enjoyed

  There was one high point to these otherwise pointless miles as we saw this incredible superhero style horse. Haha it still makes me laugh. That farmer must have a good sense of humour. Where would he have managed to acquire such a hilarious suit. 

 We eventually made it to Stewarton where we stocked up on food in Sainsbury's and sat on these benches to enjoy it. One highlight was when i was trying to cycle with a baguette in my pocket only for it to fall out going round a roundabout. I could hear Duff's hysteria all to well as the Baguette hit the ground with a thump. The wrapper was still in my pocket.

After this it was freewheeling and laughter all the way home. We both felt good after 22 miles of steep hills. After 2 miles jogbut was off but now it is very much back on. 

Stay tuned till next time as we are hitting the home straight and things are getting so hot the chickens will soon be laying hard boiled eggs. 

So long and adios amigos.

Also, Fiona if you are reading I apologise again for spelling and punctuation..