So, the clocks have gone forward and after fretting about whether my futuristic mobile telephone would reset the time or whether it would be up to me I realised that I would not be too devastated at sleeping in for what promised to be a hard slog of a cycle. It turns out I was up in time even though Ewan was early, due to the fact that both he and his future phone put his clock forward. We set off on our journey on a beautiful morning making sure that our rehydrating fuel was properly fastened to our bicycles.
We were stunned by the incredible day we had been blessed with and stopped a few times to get some lovely smug faced pictures taken to show just how delightful it was.
We powered on, mile after mile with the sun beating down on us but it just seemed to spur us on to try and surpass our previous personal best. Ewans handlebar radio kept us going and we even managed to belt out a couple of classics, much to the delight of the public who had flocked to the coast like Paisleyites to a Giro centre.
On we went, eating up the miles and despite being bumped into by an enormous bumble bee, or too use the Old English a Dumbledore, I didn't even fall off. On crossing a motorway (by bridge, safety first) I tried to coax passing motorists into honking their horns by using the age old sign to truckers to honk...
Not a peep, but did we let this dampen our spirits? NAY!!! On we went. Our next challenge was to negotiate the area that was submerged in floodwater and had previously been frozen (see previous blogs for my demise). My buns of steel recoiled in horror in memory of the dunt they took but as this is now summer they needn't have worried, not a puddle. After a while we decided to stop to fill our water bottles in what appeared to be a perfectly safe little swamp. We were deceived by the relative calmness and disaster was waiting just beneath the water.
As you can see from the previous picture I was initially taken by surprise by the crocodile that leaped out, murder blazing in its eyes, but quickly regaining my cool I managed to uppercut the croc which slinked off back into the Ayrshire undergrowth. Not the only time today an ugly green monster would be slayed by the boys in blue.
We carried on like the heroes we are and reached our destination of Prestwick beach where we enjoyed our rolls with ham AND garlic sausage, we like to mix things up and they went down a treat as every dog on the beach front eyed us with jealousy. Below is a shot of my trusty steed with the beach glimmering behind.
Heading back along the beachfront I had just enough time to get wound up by a snooty boot that was walking on the clearly designated cycle section of the vast path.
Against my better judgement I didn't run her over and settled on a snide comment as we cycled away, it made me feel a little better. We were now homeward bound but did stop off to take another few snaps showing just what a lovely day we had.
We saw more wildlife as well and despite our earlier brush with death (two including the big bumblebee) we stopped to say hello to a gaggle of ginormous horses.
The photo above of Ewan petting the Horse only came about because the horse thought it was getting fed and came over when something was put into his big feeding bath.
This turned out to be our biggest cycle to date clocking up around an impressive 35miles and we hope you keep following us too and telling all your family and chums, I personally think you should send the blog address in an email to all your contacts, unless you are too scared?
As a bonus for all you Loyal Uberites here is a lovely little video
Here we are back again with the latest installment of what is sure to be the greatest story ever told.
It had been about 1 cycle in 3 weeks not championship training by any means but we are consistent.
So with our minds and bodies packed with enthusiasm and belief and our bags packed with cheap snacks from Morrisons we set off full of endeavour. Like two lions stalking a zebra we had Millport in our sights. But we have done Millport before on two occasions. This time we were breaking new barriers and going for a hat-trick of circulations.
Here is Duff below carb loading with all the goodness a Duff needs.
Below is a closer inspection
When I met Duff in the morning he showed me his new facial mask. "Sure to keep my face warm" he proclaimed. I was not impressed and reckoned he'd look like a football hooligan. As we set foot on Millport Duff donned the mask only for his spectacles to steam up. See below. An epic design flaw. It should surely be in the small print that this is unsuitable for 4 eyes. Maybe the small print was too small.
Unperturbed by this we strode on with Duff laden with snacks and 3 litres of juice. Impressively we racked up 16 miles before stopping. Look at us zooming below. We were hitting a steady 11 mph even into the gailforce head on winds. But this did not take the wind out of our sales. Eh? This merely served to spur us on.
Please also note Duff's bulging back pack.
Next up we witnessed nature at its finest with a family of seals at the end of a jetty. Great moments like this make everything worthwhile. I decided it best to apply some commentary. I'm no Attenburgh but it was a decent first shot
Please note the great times on the crocodile rock below.
First up was me then the sure footed Duff
Two pictures of Duff below portray the real Duff and the fake happy Uberchallenger that he pretends to be in the occasional pic. Only joking the unhappy one is fake. Me and Duff have the bloody times of our lives! Classic times.
The snacks below were tasty. The wind chill was not but we smiled through with the stiff upper lip our country needs.
I think the pic below doesn't show the trip in its best light.
THIS VIDEO HOWEVER DOES! Bouyed by the efforts of cycling you can hear the joy in Duff's voice. I appreciate the wind blocks out some of the glory. Maybe we should get a boom or something.
Back on terra firma we seek out our next quest.
Until next time keep on keeping on Uberchallenge followers
I know this title has been used before in a previous blog (through the mill"port") by Duff but its such a winner that it does it justice to be used twice.
There hasn't been much cycling of late due to my trip to Lochgilphead and Duff's manic work schedule. There was one Sunday morning cycle that turned into potential disaster after 4 miles. See pic below
This is the second time we have cycled from Dalry to Kilwinning and the second time Duff has had to lie down at the end. There was a vast improvement though as Duff made it up the hill known only as the "Kilwinning Corkscrew" (due to its steep and twisting path) without getting off. It was bellowed towards the top that his "heart was going to explode". There are videos of Duff lying down as Steve Wright Sunday love songs plays on my future handlebar radio but they have one or two expletives and shouldn't be shown in public. The tunes didn't make it the manliest of cycles but they served to strengthen the bond between us.
Anyway, onto the main event and here is Duff powering along the front at Stevenson. Who new the beach could look so nice?
We pedaled through Saltycoats avoiding the great hole and through Ardrossan onto new uncharted territory. Duff commented below that if people only saw this picture they may actually think Ardrossan was pleasant? The main reason for the picture below was to mark the fact we believed the cycle track had stopped and we were now prepared to follow the Ayrshire Coastal Path. Not a cycle track but it seemed a worthwhile gamble as we had time to cycle.
It's fair to say it wasn't. As before long this is what we were pedaling through.
Then this! If you look closely the path is the flatter rubble this side of the black pipe and goes round to the right. Not great freewheeling terrain. So we chose to push to the road
Before long the low had turned into a high and what a little beauty of a cycle path this was. Following the coast all the way to Seamill.
Below is Seamill. As proven by the B and B sign.
If you can't read it here is proof.
On the way back Duff proclaimed this the gayest moment of his life as we sat on the picnic table down the front and enjoyed my excellent tray bake containing biscuits, chocolate, rolos, mars bars and twix's. An excellent pick me up for the body and spirit.
There was still time for Duff to cycle into a bit of wood and get some wire wrapped round his wheel which he is fixing below.
All in 20 miles together and the plan to cycle to Glasgow this Sunday. Will anything ever stop the cycling juggernaut that is Duff and Ewan's Uberchallenge? Tune in next time to find out
So the Uberblog crops up two days on the trot. Today, after bunking off work early and officially. I headed to chez miller where Duff was tucking into the cyclists lunch of a tin of meatballs and a whole baguette of garlic bread. Classic sportsman food. I have seen him eat worse. In fact I've eaten worse when I had tinned haggis sandwiches in 2008 (I was new to living alone) just to make that one worse the haggis claimed to be 39 per cent lamb lung. Unbelievably I went back for seconds. However, I'm digressing. Back to the Uberblog.
We set off today with a new addition - Rusty "faster further" Hamilton as he will undoubtedly be dubbed. See below:
Happy days at Castle Semple.
This was about 4 miles in and we'd been bloody tanking it at about 15 miles an hour. This is compared to myself and Duffs usual driving miss daisy pace of about 9mph. To be fair to Duff I never new he had it in him. After Saturdays 21 miler 5 asides and the previous days surprising 18 miles. We were powering along.
Further we ventured leaving tracks of fire like the docs DeLorean.
This brought a much needed rest at Morrisons of Jtown where I popped in for some drinks and doughnuts:
On the right its a doughnut eating a doughnut. Ahaha. Doughnut cannibalism. Surely a new term for the urban dictionary.
We did stop briefly to cool our jets at what has proudly become Scotland's worst town thanks to the recent Carbunkle Award given to Linwood. I feel Mr Carbunkle couldn't have witnessed this magnificent broken pencil style structure on this gloriously crisp winters day. It must have been built recently due to the lack of fire damage.
You may notice my stupid face. I did this to complement Duff's stupid face. Unbelievably for the first time ever in an uberchallenge pic he looked normal. Well by normal I mean "normal".
Here we are at Canal Street station or dog poo flank as this stretch should surely be known. Duff made the decision to refer to Paisley as the Bin from now on.
Apart from my vitriol strewn words over the last couple of paragraphs mainly aimed at Paisley and its suburb of Linwood. I was actually loving my day. The handlebar radio was blaring out reggae's finest. Ya erein me mon! Ya guan down Paisley ya av real irie time. That may not have made sense. I and I is not fluent in da reggae lingo.
Ah look at that nonchalant (try reading that word again in a french accent. If you cant do french just try an outrageous one) pose. I think I was thinking hmmm look at me a tall strong cyclist conquering mile after mile like o'bree and hoy before me. Whatever next Everest? hmmmm? I'm great arent I. Or possibly I just look like a ginormous bender either way I was loving life.
Unfortunately just around the corner I felt the first saddle related friction burn. This will surely only get worse.
Ah the cycle was so great we cycled into the dark. Please note the excellent illumination of the jerkin.
As we powered home at rapid speeds racking up an impressive 28.5 miles in the process. I arrived at the car to turn round and see Duff walking. He'd decked it again. He looked sore. He should've strode home ten foot tall listening to the chink of his newly aquired steely buttocks after such a great cycle. However, from purely a selfish point of view. If only I'd seen him it would have at least made me laugh. I think someone must have swapped the Duff I know as on the way home his spirits were still high as we talked about the uberchallenging future. Maybe tinned meatballs make you tough. Tell your kids.
So there we have it an aptly titled blog. Tune in soon my favourite blog readers and word to your mother. Keep on keeping on.
With the Winter weather dropping to a wicked -24ish the intrepid Uberchallengers have had to forge their way across a frost covered wasteland and racking up an impressive double dunter of 21 and 18 mile cycles.
As far as the eye could see the ice had us in its unforgiving grip but we carried on through the frozen fields and treacherous cycle paths with a steely determination.
We overcame some truly dangerous situations but our toughest challenge was just around the corner as we reached our frozen nemesis in the shape of a colossal puddle that stretched as far as the eye could see, rather than walk away from the danger we faced it head on with Ewan the first to take the plunge.
It was possible it would seem, so with a heart the size of Aslans the mighty Ice Warrior Duff rolled up to slay this glaciated Dragon.
After definitely breaking my left buttock I heroically carried on until a mere 100 yards around the corner we met a frozen puddle that dwarfed my conqueror and we were well and truly between a rock and a hard place, however, with discretion being the better part of valour we took to the nearby foliage and circumnavigated our way to safety
We did eventually trek on and, despite my life threatening injury, we managed a best run of 21 miles making it all the way to the town made famous by 'The Scheme', Kilmarnock. As I was still smarting from my fall my willingness to pose for a celebratory photo in Kilmarnock was not at its greatest.
With that Saturday morning run behind us our Thursday cycle took us through Kilbirnie, Lochwinnoch and up to Kilbarchan it was a beautiful evening and we took advantage of the lack of wind by going further than we had initially planned.
It was a sterling effort that took us both by surprise as we clocked another impressive 18 miles and we got to enjoy the glorious scenery and despite how cold it is, this time of year can give you some of the best views Scotland can offer, even if there are over sized oafs in the way sometimes
So with that we will leave you with this wintry warning, Beware The Ice! Unless you want a left buttock that throbs for days, oh, and enjoy the crisp Scottish winter before the crisp Scottish Summer kicks in.
As a sneaky extra here is the video that didn't seem to work in the last blog, when you see my soul and rhythm you will realise why we went to the effort of sneaking it in at the end of this one, enjoy.
